i’m wasting my teen years

because of SA i don’t go outside, i do the same things everyday. i do online school. i have one friend but they live in another country. i’m basically wasting every day. i want a partner so bad, and i want to experience being a rebellious teenager, and having fun with my friends and living. but i just stay at home on my phone instead because im too scared and can’t do anything else. i’m so jealous of regular teens who get to do everything that i want to. i only have three years left being a teen, i feel like my chance to experience new exciting things is now but nothing will change because i can’t get myself to take chances. it sucks is all. i wish i could be anyone else.